Cherish People, Not Perfection.!

We live our lives trying really heard to be perfect - to get that perfect score, to have the perfect dress, to make that perfect presentation for work next day, to have the perfect figure, perfect shoes, perfect accessories... the list is endless. The idea is planted in our minds when are children - the perfect grades is where it starts from - and it takes root (real strong roots) by the time we have reached adolescence.

The perfect partner, the perfect look, the perfect wedding, the perfect flowers, the perfect maid, the perfect party, the perfect guest-list, the perfect location... our pursuit for perfection leads us to look for it in everything around us (literally every single thing)!

In the perpetual chase for perfection, we annihilate ourselves, destroy our confidence and crucify our peace of mind. We are so enamoured with the masquerade of perfectionism that we fail to acknowledge anything even slightly lower than the "perfect 10". When we fall short of our "milestones" for perfection, self-sabotage follows.

Is striving for perfection the only criteria? The chase just leads to frustration, stress, crumbling relationships (yes.!), lower self esteems, fear of failure and a whole load of negativity.

Looking back, we don't remember the perfect score, the perfect dress or that all so perfect party. What we certainly remember are the people and how they made us feel in their presence.

It is essential to understand this pre-eminent certainty in order to not chase perfection, but rather build relationships - not perfect ones - but good enough. Connect with the people around. Strive, not for perfection, but, to be you - a Human Being, a Friend, a Sister/ Brother, a Son/Daughter and a Parent.

In our often-unrealistic pursuits, we often miss out on the people around us, and the wonderful memories that one could create. We miss out on the joys of being with people, right there, in the present moment. It is these moments that create memories for a lifetime...

Starting now, lets build those imperfect relationships, spend time with our loved ones and collect memories.

Begin to Cherish people, and their imperfections. Because for the puzzle to be worthwhile, the pieces have to be imperfect.



The crazy neighbour, the metal-head cousin, the fun aunt and the partner-in-crime friend... Every relationship is a part of the puzzle called Life. It is these perfectly imperfect relationships that enhance the significance of our pursuits.

Love people for what they are, without trying to perfect them. You never know how significant their contribution to your puzzle is. And its undoubtedly worth it.!

Most of all, YOU are worth it.!

Celebrating our Differences

Looking around us, we see that every creation is different. Similar - yes, to an extent, yet different in their own league.

Humans, being the "elite" (I like to believe that we are.!), are strikingly different from each other. Composed of the exact same components, we are still very very different from the other. It would have been a great deal easier for the creator (yes, I believe that we are "created" as a species and did not just "evolve") to have picked up one "format" as such and just go on with that.

However, each one of us was beautifully crafted in signature styles - unique and custom made.

According to quantum physics, there are approximately 10 ^{10 70} ways in which the matter that makes up a human body can be arranged. Now that is a really humongous number - it is 1 followed by 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000  zeroes!

Yet each one of us is designed in one unique way, out of the very many ways that we could be made in. If we were to run a probability algorithm, there is a high chance that a couple combinations would have repeated themselves by now - perhaps in the case of twins and triplets. Looking around us, we know that there have been absolutely no repeats whatsoever (Bollywood and TV soaps make us believe otherwise) There are no two individuals that are the same, in the true sense of the word. Heck! Even identical twins are not alike.

Of all the numerous ways of "arranging" us, one particular "arrangement" was chosen for each one of us, ensuring that every combination is unique, ever since time. We have been created as distinguished Master Pieces

Each of us has different dispositions as a result of this exclusive designing. It is this dissimilarity that creates the distinctions between our thoughts, our actions, our ideas, our perceptions and our choices.
We are meant to be Unique; designed different from each other, just like snow flakes.

Being different is not out-of-the-ordinary. It is fundamental to our creation and our existence. It is this inherent contrast among us that is the seed for inquisitiveness, creativity, and aspirations. Nurture it, feed it and let it grow. It is the innate nature of these differences bestows upon us the power to change the world.

Everything we do, every thought, every choice, every action, matters - because of the inherent nature of the meaningful, innate discretion. No matter how small or big or tiny or overwhelming the scenario, or how muck likeness it has to do with another situation, it will be different. Unique in its own sense.

Each thought-choice-action cycle creates different wavelengths and energies around us. These energies combine, collide and amalgamate, resulting in the world around us today. It is because of one choice that someone made some thousands of years ago (time-travel sci-fi reference!) that the world is what it is. 

Everything matters. We matter. It may appear to be very insignificant this moment, but could turn out to be the very event that changed the world. Remember, every wave starts of as a ripple.

By being ourselves, by being unique, we are giving the world something that did not exist ever before. We initiate unique "ripples" that have the power to create electricity, when channelled in the right direction.

Let’s decide to be ourselves.

                                      Choose Right.

                                                 And Make a difference.

“Every single thing you do matters. You have been created as one of a kind. You have been created in order to make a difference. You have within you the power to change the world."

Hijabi. ????

"Hijabi" is a very common way that I have been addressed as in the last few years, ever since I started wearing the Headscarf...

For those who are not aware of the "Hijab", it is a way of dressing where the woman is covered from head to toe, with just the face and hands (upto the wrists) are visible, and it very much includes wearing a head-scarf (picture below).

Not that being called a Hijabi sounds bad, but I have been given a name by my parents and I prefer to be addressed by that name...

Would you call someone who always wears Jeans "Jeanie" or "Jeansie"?

How about those who are ever dressed in Salwar Suits? Would they be addressed as "Salwis" or something like that???

Then why does dressing in a Hijab make you a Hijabi? Not just that - it also makes you "conservative", "oppressed", "silenced" and a whole list of other ideologies... You BECOME the clothing and the Ideology.

Do you cease being you when you decide to dress a certain way or advocate a certain ideology?

I was under the impression that we have a Choice... To choose how we dress and define our own sense of style. But it seems to me that my choice of dressing has led people to believe that my attire is ME.

Since when are people "attires" and "ideologies"? If we do not label people as Jeansie or Salwis, then why label me (and countless other women) a Hijabi?

Why the double standards? Why the naming?

Dressing up in a Hijab was a very personal, informed and conscious decision that I made, and stand-by till date. No force, no compulsion, no influence, no coercion whatsoever can be blamed for it.

And so have countless other women around the world made a choice.

Its time that we respect people for their choices and ideologies. Not "name" them and "define" them with something so superficial as clothing.

Next time you come across a woman wearing a Hijab, don't address her by her attire. She may not be offended, but surely will not appreciate it either.

Rather, just walk up to her and know her story. You will be glad you did.!

Until next time, adios amigos!

Perfect Beauty is a Fallacy

Esther Hoing, a journalist by profession, got in touch with more than 40 photographers from over 25 countries with one request – to make her beautiful. Her purpose, was to establish whether or not there was a globally accepted standard for Beauty.

The result – Each one got back with a different picture!

What she discovered, and presented to the world, is priceless. This picture epitomizes a long forgone truth that beauty has different meanings for different people in different cultures.

No individual picture can claim to be the most beautiful or the most perfect. Each one is Perfect and Beautiful in its own right.

The lady in the picture is as beautiful in dark skin as she is in the lighter tone. She looks pretty with a complete headscarf and without. She is glamorous with her hair tied up and let loose. She is lovely in her original picture and her ‘beautified’ images.

Then why is being dark skinned in South Asia such a taboo? Why is wearing a Hijab/ headscarf considered an imprisonment across the globe? Why is it not-as-pretty-as-the-girl-in-the-poster if there is no make-up? Why is it that we chase the idea of being “picture perfect” or being “socially acceptable” or even being “the model on the poster”?

Why is it that nations around the world interpose what should be worn or what should not be worn? Who is the “signing authority” on the kind of attire that is acceptable or not? Why do a minority of people dictate the terms to the majority of people?

These questions intrigue the mind whilst they are being asked, but fade into oblivion once the matter has passed. We fail to recognize that the interpretation of beauty and acceptance is expounded by the culture and social environs of a person, being blinded by a false façade created by those who don’t matter, and certainly don’t care. A masquerade created by those who are in the so called “beauty business”, as an approach to make (more) money. 

We are bombarded with these fake ideals every day, every single hour. There is no escape from this incessant blitz that slowly creeps into the minds, and sticks there (Recent studies claim that 95% of the impact is subconscious! Only a mere 5% is a conscious “awareness”). Anything repeated often enough, becomes the acceptable truth.

Women, teenagers and even pre-teens are under self – inflicted coercion to “look more beautiful” and chase the idea of a near – impossible perfection in their expression of beauty. Children as young as 5 year olds awfully believe that sexuality and sensuousness are prerequisites for looking and feeling beautiful, murdering their innocence in the process.

All because of the F word – Fashion – that is used to conceal the entire act.

Styles get in and out of fashion just as frequently as daily commuters get on and off the public transport; Beauty has a new definition with each passing day; Perfection has become a daily struggle, with each toil setting the bar higher and higher, making it nearly impossible for commoners to even appreciate - or even think about - their individuality.

Societies that shun the illusion are viewed as “imposing” and “restricting” by those that “embrace” this idea, chasing a mirage every day. Sticking to the roots is a trait to be hidden from the world in the fear of being labelled “old-fashioned”. Women across the globe are inadvertently pushed to pursue perfection, whose bars are set in the name of Fashion and Acceptance in the society.

30 years ago, it did not matter what size or shape or how heavy a woman was. Today, just because some superstar-model-wife-of-a-superstar-footballer is mere bones, the concept of “Size Zero” is established. What more – the world around, women are starving themselves to near-death to achieve this “milestone”. How preposterous!

It is more prudent today, than has been any other time, that we allow ourselves the freedom to appreciate our individual ‘beauty’, in a manner ‘acceptable’ in our distinctive ideals.

Beauty is an individual choice and interpretation and not a globally accepted phenomenon. Beauty is an expression of the inner self, tranquility, posture, grace, charisma and elegance, with every individual having their characteristic beliefs reflecting in their assertion.

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.

Beauty is Relative.!

Embrace YOUR Beauty.!

13 Types of Drivers on Indian Roads

Honk.! Screeeecchhhh...... Vrooommmm... These are common sounds on the streets, all over the world.

Indian drivers, however, are a class apart.! Like all beings on this planet, Indian drivers can also be categorized. Listed below are 13 special categories of Drivers that are found on Indian Roads. (Not that they are not found elsewhere, just that they are a Majority in the country) and how to spot them

Which one are you?

1. The Squeezy

Now these are a *very* common species. They think and believe that they can squeeze their way out in the narrowest of places and reach their destination in one piece, irrespective of the space available. They are characterized by small sized vehicles, and a strong belief that they are in a video game where they can pick and place their vehicle in the front of the line with some "key strokes"!

2. The Gobs

A gross species nevertheless. These are the kinds who use the roads like basins and Spittoons - from spitting pan to phlegm to blowing their nose... They think it absolutely okay to misuse public roads.

Without second thoughts, they will pop out their heads and go "thoo".. whether it lands on the street or another person is a total race to escape...

3. The Footpath riders

Queue on the roads? No problem... The footpath is all ours.!! Not to mention, these will also abuse any pedestrians for coming their way with so much authenticity that the pedestrian begins to believe they are on the "wrong side". It is surprising though how they get "on" and "off" the elevated path at their convenience. 

4. Hear me Honk

These guys love the horn on their vehicle so much that they will use it at the slightest chance they get. At junctions, in roadblocks, at a red signal - everywhere. They strongly believe honking is a magic wand that will make the cars ahead of them disappear in thin air to ensure them a smooth ride until destination. 

On a less annoying day, these species might throw up a tune :) !!

5. Stunt Riders

Some of them take the saying "All world's a stage" literally and begin showing off their skills on the roads as well. The guy in the picture is a perfect example of this species - I'll go over the divider.!!

Always precarious, they have claimed lives. This habit is not something to be proud of. !!

6. F1 Racers

This species is dangerously fatal. The roads are the tracks and these are the racers. They will not drive at any speed below the max speed on their odometer. Major freak road accidents are caused by them, and many of them are fatal too.

It is in our best interests to avoid being in their lane and make a complaint as soon as you spot one. They are not just endangering their own lives, but the lives of others too.

Stay Safe, Stay Vigilant.!

7. Get Ahead drivers

These species like to stay ahead always - even in traffic. So they will do to any lengths to get to the beginning of the longest queue, even if they are breaking a 100 traffic rules in the process, including driving on the wrong side of the road.

No matter what the situation, they will not let any other vehicle pass ahead of them, or even wait till the vehicles on the perpendicular roads pass. Nope... Either they go first, or no one does.!

They will not trouble you much unless you try to stop them in any way.

8. The Itchers

This is a peculiar species. they itch so bad that they have to get scratched, and in the process ruin other species as well. Mind you, these are also very Touchy.!

The best way to identify them is to look at the bumpers. Their itch leaves evidence.!

Stay clear at all times :) else they might "rub" on you as well :)

9. Ambulance followers

These species are common but redundant. They are activated only when there is a Siren around, especially the one of an Ambulance. Rather than make way for the ambulance, they will follow the way of the ambulance to get ahead of the line and break free of the crowd.

A major offence in most parts of the world, its time we take cognizance and stop such acts - spread awareness and follow the rules, atleast for the person in the ambulance.

10. L-Boards

The species are not necessarily "learning" how to drive. The main characteristics include, but not limited to;

- Maintaining 1 meter distance from vehicles

- Breaking way before than necessary

- On a two-wheeler, if the speed is 20kmph or lower, their feet are just 1cm from the road

- Extra allowance

- Trouble parking

11. Zig-Zaggers

This category has a hard time keeping their hands stable at the wheel. They don't drive - they slither around on the roads making it a real life videogame.

12. The Splashers

Most common during the rains and immediately after a downpour. They assume speeding through a puddle of water on the streets and splashing it on everyone around is fun.!

13. Woofer-heads

Woofers, surround sound speakers and every other accessory to amplify music can be found in the boot of their vehicles. And they love to show-off .

How? Play music on full volume, roll down the windows and zoom through the streets.!

I suppose it covers the majority of the driving population. If I have missed your "category" do leave your comments below and I will add it in the next update.

Happy Driving.!!!

Explore the nuances of #IndianTraffic and delve into the complexities of #DrivingInIndia. Witness the challenges of #RoadRageIndia and understand the psyche of #IndianDrivers. Learn about #TrafficEtiquette and advocate for #RoadSafetyIndia. Navigate the intricacies of #DrivingCulture and experience the chaos of #IndianRoads. Analyze #TrafficBehaviour and foster #DriverAwareness. Embrace #RoadManners and promote #RoadCourtesy. Challenge #TrafficStereotypes and decipher #DrivingHabits. Educate on #RoadRulesIndia and adapt to #IndianDriving. Decode #DriverPersonality and address #TrafficChallenges. Traverse #IndianHighways and adapt to diverse #DrivingStyles.

Complications of the English Language.

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. Although it has been my first language throughout my schooling, I still find it difficult to comprehend how the same words mean different things, depending on how they are used in a sentence.

While doing some search, I came across a lot of words that could confuse the already confused. Here they go...

The farm was used to produce produce.

The bandage was wound around the wound.

The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

We must polish the Polish furniture.

The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

He could lead if he could get the lead out

I did not object to the object.

There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

They were too close to the door to close it.

The buck does funny things when the does are present.

A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear..

I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

A very famous line goes - There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple; English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.

The best one - A guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig...

While looking for more of such muddles, I came across this (The person who originally thought of these was definitely perplexed by the language!) 

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth?
One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
One index, 2 indices?
One can make amends but not one amend?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
People recite at a play and play at a recital; Ship by truck and send cargo by ship...
We drive on a parkway and park on a driveway
Have noses that run and feet that smell.!

A house can burn up as it burns down, you fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm goes off by going on.!

The list is endless of the ideas that a word can present. Unless one is thoroughly aware of the different interpretations, you would end up in the wrong place - Quite Literally.!!

English, was invented by Humans, and as they say - To err is Human.!

:)

Edit 1: The below poem was forwarded to me on Social Media. Credits to original writer.

The Sound of Silenced Letters

We know the letter B doesn’t belong in subtle 

But what has the letter C got to do in a muscle?

The role of the D in Wednesday we can’t define

Why should G be present in a gnat or in a sign?

To be honest, does the H in rhyme ring a bell?

And can the J in marijuana anybody smell?

Who knows why the K in knee won’t knock

And why the L in walk or in calf would not talk

The first M in mnemonic is hard to understand 

Would the damned N in the column ever stand?

We can’t say the P in psalm or in psychology 

And S alone gets tossed out from the debris

Is the T heard when you listen to a whistle?

W is not write, it’s wrong, don’t try to wrestle 

X is the mistake in a faux pas, get the clue?

Ever wonder why Y did not have it's say in Say?

Hush, no rendezvous with Z, goodbye, adieu!

Edit 2: This poem was a part of Grade 7 English. Adding it in for the nostalgia :)

The English Language

By: Harry Hemsley

Some words have different meanings, And yet they're spelt the same.

A cricket is an insect, To play it--it's a game.

On every hand, in every land, It's thoroughly agreed,

The English language to explain, is very hard indeed.

Some people say that you're dear, Yet dear is far from cheap.

A jumper is a thing you wear, Yet a jumper has to leap.

It's very clear, it's very queer, And pray who is to blame

For different meanings to some words Pronounced and spelt the same?

 

A little journey is a trip,

A trip is when you fall.

It doesn't mean you have to dance

Whene'er mean you hold a ball.

 Now here's a thing that puzzles me:

Musicians of good taste Will very often from a band- I've one around my waist!

 

Or spin a yarn may be- Yet every spin's different spin,

You spin a top, go for a spin, As you can plainly see

 Now here's a most peculiar thing, 'Twas told me as a joke-

A dumb man wouldn't speak a word, Yet seized a wheel and spoke.

A door may often be ajar, But give the door a slam,

And then your nerves receive a jar- And then there's jars of jam.

You've heard, of course, of traffic jams,

And jams you give your thumbs.

And adders, too, one is a snake,

The other adds up sums.

It's a nickname (impolite),

A policeman is a copper,

Yet a copper in the kitchen

Is an article you light.

On every hand, in every land, It's thoroughly agreed-

The English language to explain Is very hard indeed!

Listening.?

Ever wondered why the Human body has a pair of ears and one mouth?

If we were to look more closely, we would notice that everything in the body is in pairs – hands, legs, ears, eyes, with one exception – the mouth. The nose also has a pair of nostrils.!

This fact has intrigued me for quite sometime, and I have been trying to understand the purpose of this exception. The complex organism that the Human body is, this exception to the rule could not just be accidental. There had to be a rule to this exception... A deliberate design by nature.

My quest was to find this rule to the exception... The purpose of the design and the reasons behind this peculiarity. The best way was to look at Nature itself and solve the puzzle. 

Nature has myriad ways in which it give subtle messages to the ever probing Human Mind. There is always an impetus behind the scheme of nature, and we have numerous studies that support the impeccable designs... The key to this mystery also lies in one of nature’s ways - getting back to basics.

Let’s say we have one computer to do our work. If the work increases, and the current resources are not capable of handling the task, we need to increase the capacity. If the work doubles, we double the capacity and so on. In essence, 2 computers would do 2 times the work of a single machine.

Pretty straightforward.

Coming back to our original question – why do we have two ears and one mouth? Using the resource-capacity analogy - our ears are meant to do two times as much work as our mouth.!

Simple isn’t it?

Nature “demands” that we should listen twice as much as we talk. We were designed with this intent and it is prescribed upon us to follow the directive.

Sounds nice.?

In theory.!

Does it work in real life? Do we do it? Nope.!

The species that we are, we talk. A lot.

We just LOVE to talk, whether or not the occasion demands it. After some research and deliberation over the numerous studies, it boiled down to one very simple but convincing fact. We talk not because we love to talk, but more so because we love to listen to our own voice.! We adore the sound of our voices and it is the most pleasing reverberation.

This needs to change. We have to deliberately begin to Listen to what others have to say and control the urge to grab an opening to speak up. Consciously decide to shut-up and talk only when there is a mandate, and only as much as needed.

In principle, Halve the talking and Double the listening.

Literally.!

To be able to understand and communicate effectively, we must use our ears twice as much as our mouth. We must listen to our friends and the people who matter, attentively, with focus on what is being said rather than seeking an opportunity to say what we think is right.

One of the biggest secrets of success is to be able to effectively and actively listen. Thoughtfully and wholly understand the speakers' point of view. 

Hearing is a physical attribute most of us are blessed with. Listening, on the other hand, is more a state of mind, where we are actively engaged in what the other person is saying, acknowledge and grasp the message. Doing this would solve 99% of the problems in ones life.!

Listening matters. A lot. So let’s make an honest effort, this day on, to listen to people who matter, attentively.

Listen.

        Understand.

                                     Act.

#EffectiveCommunication #ActiveListening #CommunicationSkills #ListeningSkills #MindfulListening #ConversationTips #BetterCommunication #EmpatheticListening #EffectiveListening #ImprovingCommunication #CommunicationStrategy #CommunicationAdvice #ListenFirst #TalkLessListenMore #HalveTheTalking #DoubleTheListening #ListeningIsKey #CommunicateBetter #ListenToUnderstand #EffectiveDialogue

The Myth called "Equality"

We are all born free and equal – This is a basic Human Right and it is rightfully claimed and defended by all of us.

In the picture above, two people are pitted against each other.

Equality?
Yes.! (There is no discriminating the size right.?)

Fair?
Nope.!

To actually think of Equality, Are we really equal? In the absolute sense of the statement?

On an average, there are 4 births every second. That is about 360000 births a day.! That is a lot of people.! According to the right, all these 360000 ‘infants’ are born equal. 

The two kids in the picture present strikingly different images. The only "equality" visible here is that they both are blessed with life. Nothing, absolutely nothing, is equal among the two kids.

The picture represents a reality of the world, where one section is devoid of everything and the other section is devoid of nothing. Then there are those that are neither here nor there - some they have, some they don't.

It is a fact that each one of us is born in different places and in different conditions – economic, social, cultural, political. We have varied levels of access to different amenities around us, and we are entitled to diverse luxuries of the world.

Where is the equality? We are not even born in the same manner.!, 

Yet we firmly believe that we are all equal and are fighting for it… Being misled by the hype created around the theme...

Equal Opportunity?? Yeah right.!!!

Do we truly have an equal opportunity to grow? To play? To work? To speak our minds?To Love? To Choose? To Freedom? To Die? Do we all have the same status in any respect? Is it even closely similar?

We have been living this myth for ages, without even once questioning its veracity, conditioned to believe that Equality is the way forward...

We are evidently missing out on a crucial aspect about this whole thing... We do not realize that Equality is not enough. Justice has to be an integral part of it. There is no point in being equal if Justice is not served right.

However, the truth of the matter is Equality does not always necessitate Justice. It has to be a deliberate endeavor from each one of us. Every-time, everywhere, everyplace.

In a world with limited availability of resources, sagacity should be made the norm. Resources must be assigned justifiably rather than equally. 

Like in the picture above. Equality does not serve the purpose. Justice does. We need to understand this small but crucial idea and make it a habit.

Start now, before its too late. Strive for Justice and Equality, for all beings.

Lets make the world a better place, for you and for me and the entire Human race.!
                                                                                       ~ Michael Jackson